the hippo rant

job hunting

2011-02-28T20:32:00.000+11:00

can't say i'm not enjoying staying at home with almost nothing to do but this has to end because sitting at home becoming moldy is probably not the thing to do right now. the need for money for wedding and whatever else is becoming more and more important.

on a weekly basis:
i send out about 20-30 resumes/cover letters
recieve 2 calls
go to 1 interview

of course thats on a good week that i get calls and interviews. its been 2 weeks without either! quite depressing if you ask me. i always thought i was well qualified and well experienced and basically hot on the market for jobs. at least for people who know me.

guess the only thing i can do right now is keep looking..

wedding preps under way

2011-01-31T23:43:00.000+11:00

with the proposal and engagement ring purchase it was time to set a date in order to book venues and i guess get some prepping under way.

now that we have set a date. took us a while since we had another date in mind but due to it being slightly bad luck on my half, looking for venues and all sorts we had to change the date to match the venue. it turned out to be a good decision.

with the venue booked we can now move on! its great that the place basically takes care of everything for me. saves me time researching and looking for peoples to take care of things. problems that money can solve no longer becomes a problem. so thats what i have done!! :)
letting money take care of things, mind you.. its something i dont have much of right now.

i am still jobless. i guess it gives me time to actually work on wedding stuff but it does suck that i still haven't got a job yet. i thought i would have by now.
im not looking all that hard for obvious reasons that i dont really want to work but for the sake of my new life and wedding.. I MUST!!

so the count down begins... 383 days to go! :D

01.01.11

2011-01-01T03:43:00.001+11:00

happy new year! :)
so my beloved decided to make his resolution this year: make me smile once a day everyday
and he started by proposing!
bf: babe i have a confession to make, i stole something from your room
me: ok....
bf: *pulls out the ring* i stole this from your room to propose to you
me: *stares and shaking*
bf: babe, will you marry me?
me:* giggles*
the process was long but i said yes! yes! yes! :)

then it was time to text everyone and call everyone.
bf told grandma in the afternoon that he was going to at midnight. so even if he wanted to back out he couldnt.
his mum was so happy!

so first thing in the morning.. i have to tell mum and dad!

bye bye 2010

2010-12-31T14:03:00.001+11:00

2010 was a bad year for me in all aspects.
work: was stressful and extremely aggrivating, my patience was running so thin. so with the end of the year i also end my job! :)
friendship: has almost been non existant! but i guess that is more part of life than anything else. you are suppose to lose your friend bit by bit until you die
love: its been a rocky year for us. alot of things have come between us and has changed what we had. we have tried really hard to patch things up but honestly, if 2010 goes any long i dont think i would be able to withstand it and just end it. but with the new year i choose to forget about them all and just start from scratch!
family: from some point of view it should be a good thing but personally it is stupid. the amount of pressure and contant questioning of marriage and bf is just unnecessary! i shouldnt have to constantly ask him if he wants to marry me because frankly i dont care. the ball is in his court and he can do whatever it is he wants.

i guess that sums up my life for the year.

happy new year. hope that the horoscopes are wrong and that 2011 is all that bad!!

update

2010-12-09T09:56:00.001+11:00

i think its been a while since i've come on here to blab on the irrelevance of things.. may or may not be a good thing! :p
christmas is coming!! summer is here!!
good thing? possibly... but it just doesn't feel so..
listening to christmas songs for a month is fucken annoying! (there is one other thing more annoying than christmas songs, christian radio station)
yes christian radio! the worst thing ever!!

i've never been a fan of christmas.. its boring.. i mean i get to go shopping and everything is on sale.. great! but everything else is just..whatever!
and i always hated summer! i would rather snow!
i walk around the house with like no clothes on because its so damn hot and even being naked its still fucken hot! i don't understand how people sleep in this weather and i sweat from just sitting!!! EVIL!!

almost over so its ok! :)
so is my job!!! YAY!!! i can't wait to just do nothing for a while. i know i should be looking for a new job and i have! i send out my resume.. its not my fault they dont want me! :p
so i can keep bludging until someone calls.. i hope NEVER!!!
i have always preferred studying to work..
do a couple of classes.. show up if you want.. pass if you want.. do what you want! work... not so!

mum has been gone for 3 weeks now?
all the cooking and cleaning.. sigh.. i feel like a dag!
haven't been bothered to put on make up when i go out.. because i only go out for about.. 30 min? or less to buy fruit and veg and go to the gym..
really don't know how guys can love their... wife who don't like.. put some effort in their appearance.. its so... just.. eww~
unless shes willing to be naked most of the time. :p it will forever be a physical thing!

~headache~

2010-11-26T10:17:00.000+11:00

migraines have been hitting alot more frequent lately. which is bad! this is when i know summer is coming so soon!
thought i would get a massage yesterday to make my body aches feel better it didn't help all that much but while i was waiting for my turn a girl walked up to me and wanted to tell me about her little bible crap! seriously!?
"what has happened in korea is a prophecy in the bible"
seriously.. get over it.. i know that the world is coming to an end and jeebus is probably coming soon! so what?! all i can say it.. ITS ABOUT TIME! only took 2000 years! pfft~

so enough about this bible reader..
my headaches are getting worse and has been hitting while im obviously out of the house. the aura... glittery thing in front of my eyes has become a permanent thing.. not the blinding type but just like when you look at something shiny and leaves a patch. it doesn't go away anymore..
went to see the doctors and they tell me exactly the same thing as 6 years ago! completely useless... sigh.. so now i just have to live with it until it eventually goes away and take pills that just reduce the frequency but doesn't seem to be working because 3 times in 1 week..HA~

totally looking forward to leave this job.
i can finally get saturdays off.. to go out and do stuff... finally my weekend is back! no more 7 days of waking up early!! @_@
looking for job is fun... applying no so much!
honestly don't want to work.. its just not something i enjoy doing.. money or no money..

mum has been gone for a week now.. not much news from her.. just need to send her my shopping list! :p

back to headache-ing

life of a pastor's kid (pk)

2010-11-16T22:22:00.000+11:00

this is just a more detailed crap-ness of previous entry. i'm sure i have written about this crappy life before but people don't seem to understand what kind of crap i have to deal with on a daily basis. after all i am human! just because god seem to have chosen my dad to do his dirty work doesn't make me any less human! if not.. i makes me MORE human!

why do i have to get a label on me, a standard..
just because my dad is holy doesn't mean i have to as well and why is it that things all the other kids can do i can't.
other kids can decide if they want to go to church or not. oopps i slept in, no church then.. im not allowed to.. WHY?!
why do i have to dress up to church but be wrapped up from head to toe! i'm not allowed a piece of flesh out of me!
maybe these aren't because of me being a pk but its got to be part of it.. people talk.. its supposedly affects my parents reputations.. not that they have any!

god dammit. its not fair!
i'm just like any other kid who hates this world and think suicide is answer to everything! why can't i just continue to think that! why must these bible readers try to convert and change me! frankly i don't give a SHIT!

none of your fucken business!

2010-11-08T21:26:00.000+11:00

of all the jobs in the world my dad had to choose the most crappiest, lowest paying and the last he will ever have. he became a pastor or minister or priest. whatever you call them. the guy who stands up there on sunday and talks his lungs out. this decision of his not only affected him but also affected me and my family. maybe they can understand and is fine with it but i totally am not! if not, i hated that decision.

my brother was never the rebellious type and more of a mummy's boy than i will ever be daddy's girl. he does what hes told and when people ask he says ok.
mum wanted dad to become one. i don't know why but shes always been religious. so i guess to her this is normal!
i am not religious in comparison. i am only religious in comparison to people who are not. i like to be very down key and be unnoticed at church and slowly disappear. i feel like my freedom to be rebellious and do what normal teens were suppose to do was taken away from me.

i wanted to be normal and get into trouble by cops and do drugs first hand and learn the hard way. have all these things delayed until i finally got a window of freedom to play with. why do i have to be protected and be bound to rules by a book that has no specific writer... blah blah blah...

now.. i am getting told that i'm not allowed to vent about my bad day on facebook. REALLY?!?! who says "christians" are not allowed to use foul language when they are having a bad day. maybe i do bad a foul mouth normally but it gets worse obviously when i'm pissed off and the more these people annoy me about restrictions on top of the ones i already have, the more i hate these so called "christians" who are really not any better than me. these morons who are searching for answers are too busy questioning stuff from the bible and is 'in search' for the purpose of their life. they think their punny little life can make a difference in the world of billions of people.. pfft.. wishful thinking. it just lets you sleep better at night.. nothing else!

these people think telling my parents i write foul language online will make a difference!
if it makes you uncomfortable, DON'T FUCKEN READ IT!
what did they think was going to happen after tattle tail-ing to my parents? is dad going to slap me on the wrist? BOOHOO!
STICK IT YOU FUCKEN BIBLE READERS!

stop trying to save me.. i don't want to go to heaven, if i have to spend eternity with you dickheads!

foretold predictions

2010-11-04T14:29:00.000+11:00

so my foretold predictions were right. he did not remember nor.... care?
its only important if i think its important.. i don't know if its suppose to be important.. i have never had an anniversary before. O_o
i waited and waited.. until 11pm to send him a message saying happy anniversary and the outcome didn't pan out the way i wanted.

at least now i know:
we don't celebrate anniversary
no presents
no dinner
we won't see each other either
and its just another day of the year...

2 year journey

2010-11-03T10:27:00.000+11:00

i shall start off with.. happy 2 year anniversary to my bubble bum. it has been both good and bad but i enjoyed every bit of it. the many goods and the many bads make up a relationship.
i've always been selfish person, never had to think for or about others but this relationship has taught me different. all the decisions i make, i consider your wants and needs over my own. is this what being in a relationship mean?
these 2 years seem so long yet so short. the times we spent together seem a lot yet not enough.

on a different note. so is anniversary suppose to be an important date in the calendar? because i am not sure if its suppose to be important. some think its really important if not more important than birthday because its just a date they 'share'. others if not most think its just a date that officially made it of an important date but really doesn't mean anything.. right?

i don't even think he remembers it, if he doesn't.. oh well i guess he doesn't celebrate it so its not important. we didn't do anything for the first year so i guess no point starting now.

oh well.. life goes on.. the dreading of each day with nothing to look forward to.

restrictions

2010-10-24T22:13:00.001+11:00

with halloween coming up.. all the parties have started.. the sad thing is that mum is still in australia! :(

which means..
be home before 11pm + not sleeping over = no party

restrictions of my life..
no sleepovers
have curfew at 11pm
no clubbing
no partying
no getting pissed drunk (outside of my house)
etc.. etc.. etc..
every asian restriction you can think of, i have!

but the thing is i have broken every single one of them. being a PK doesn't turn me into a good little girl. almost every commandment in the bible i have broken. except for killing people.. but obviously i have curse many to die.. :D

i dont know what is so bad about being out late.. what could possibly happen.
if shes afraid i will get raped.. well.. honestly.. its not like im a virgin.. who cares?!
i have slept with more people than she thinks! its just sex.. its not a big deal!
what is so bad about clubbing and drinking?! guys touch you... and? so? its not like i haven't been touched before. i can drink at home but not drink elsewhere... i might end up in the gutter?! when i have shown myself to be irresponsible?! incompetent of making a decision to keep myself safe?!

sigh....
all these.. can be removed with a piece of paper.. now you understand marriage to me is a permission slip for me to do all the things i couldnt but did anywhere when mum was out of the country.
but when i get married i am restricted.. just restricted by someone else..

such as life... sigh..

searching...

2010-10-23T09:53:00.000+11:00

searching what to do with myself after finishing off my job at the end of the year is quite a search but for some reason i like this soul searching thing. lots of things draws my attention to want to look into it but there is always the upsetting part of it which is finding out its not really what you thought it would be. but thats ok because i can keep looking.

i have never actually applied for a job before or actually gone to a real interview. i guess i just never had to. ever since i started to work i have always tried to do my best and make a name for myself and it has worked. i was known for prompt work and on call. i had worked well for me and i was never out of a job. when i leave one i had another calling me up to offer me a position. its always been good.
now... is a different story. i have learnt to not work for people you know personally. it ruins relationships. you were once friends but now... even when i leave i don't know if i can still be friends. you find out the worst of them and you just don't want to be around them anymore.

then again.. most of these relationship is like that. you date a guy and you break up.. you don't want to talk to him again.. whats the point?! lol

so now i'm searching.. for myself! :)

love hate relationship

2010-10-17T22:54:00.000+11:00

regardless what it is... just can't seem to be satisfied.

i have to say i am sorry to have put people through the shit that i have made but honestly... i don't feel any better about it after everything that has happened.
i may appear like a heartless bitch which i am but i have put things off to hope for better and it hasn't been so i had to make a decision for myself. now i want to move on as quickly as i can...

its like this weather.
the sun is finally out and the wind has finally died down but my body can't seem to decide if its hot or cold. first im cold then its hot to the point where i am sweating. very frustrating when i can't decide what to wear! feel completely un-co!

had 2 dates today... bf and brother.. i had to blow my brother off for my bf. something that i probably shouldn't have done. so sad~
or just should have done both.. lunch with bf and dinner with brother. if only he stayed around longer but knowing my brother.. he rather go home instead of getting tortured by my mum!

anger management

2010-10-14T15:35:00.004+11:00

incase you haven't already figured, this is my anger management process!

i have anger issues with my work and since this job it has bought out the worst of me. everything i use to enjoy doing:
driving (i drive so much that i just want to crash into cars that piss me off...)
running errands (i use to love doing errands for my dad and just in general. it made me feel important. like a personal assistant.. i was needed... now.. they think i should be doing it because its my job? that is not my job!!!!!)
called in to do a couple of hours of work (i am more than happy to be called in to do some work. as i have been for the past 4 years in previous jobs but this is not even called in. its casual job.. put in a full time position... the time doesn't match the money!)
admin work (i loved doing paper work but now im doing someone else's SLOPPY work! there is a process to admin and they don't even have the courtesy of unfolding invoices.. i don't even know why you would fold it up into tiny squares to start with!)
and the list goes on and on.... this job has completely ruined EVERYTHING!

so i need advice..
how do i quit my job?

a mouthful of sores

2010-10-13T09:40:00.000+11:00

pineapples has to be the worst fruit ever found. hardly find a good tasting one and maybe its just me but it gives me really bad ulcers. i think the acid makes the skin in my mouth super thin and when i eat just normal food i normally eat it punctures. soooooo painful!

honestly, its weird being back on blogger.com! its been a while.... switching from xanga to blogger.com and to all sorts of other ones and now back here.
i guess we will have to try this one out and see if its any good. :)

if these 2 posts have not bore you to death yet i guess you can always come back and read more of my ranting.. :)

ranting move

2010-10-12T23:38:00.001+11:00

little ranting hippo has moved from xanga to blogger because i didnt want to pay for services other offer for free and also xanga wasnt making anything easier for iphone users.